Sunday Night Zen

 

I feel zen.  On a Sunday night. Miraculous, I know.

Why?

Well…I don’t know if it’s the fact that I’m going on five days without a drop of my beloved rose wine or the ridiculous amount of healthy fats that I’ve been consuming on this Keto diet, but I am feeling pretty darn good right now.  More than just good…content.  At peace.

Zen.

Which is strange because a) I think we all can agree that Sunday nights are the worst, and b) I’ve been seriously missing my Mom tonight (she died over a year ago, but that’s for another time, another post…)

Regardless of reasons a) and b), I feel…zen.

Since the absence of alcohol and the new Keto eating habits are the only things that have really changed in my life lately, I’m going to go out on a limb and attribute this ‘zen-ness’ to them.

24 Hours Ago…

Now, flashback 24 hours and it was a VERY different situation.  I spent my Saturday night standing on the scale crying.  Not to mention, peeing on about 20 Ketostix, gaining 5 lbs, and feeling seriously discouraged.

5 lbs? WHAT. THE. ACTUAL. F**K.

I didn’t understand.  It took everything in me not to run out to buy wine and cake and say F**K this health kick.

But I didn’t.  I watched Straight Outta Compton (AWESOME, BTW) and went to bed hungry-ish.

And this morning I woke up, peed on the Keto Strips and…voila…it changed color (meaning my body was going into ketosis).  Finally.

Then I stepped on the scale and…boom…down 6 lbs.

(Enter giant sigh of relief here).

Now, I would love to say that my mood isn’t based on how I’m currently feeling about my body – but that would be a big fat lie.  So, admittedly, some of this ‘zen’ feeling is probably due to the fact that my hard work seems to be finally starting to pay off – in terms of the scale at least.

And I knowww, I knowww, we should base our weight loss efforts more on how we feel or how our clothes fit than the number on the scale (giant eye roll) buuuut…..screw that.  I’m sorry, but that number on the scale matters to me.  Not if I gain or lose a few pounds when I’m at a healthy weight, but when I know that I’m seriously out of shape, it matters.

Thanks, Brandon Burchard

So, today was already a pretty decent day, and then I read something tonight that hit me hard – in a good way.  It gave me pause and weirdly made me feel…light.  So, I thought, why not share it with the 3 people that might actually be reading this (lol), as it might bring you some Sunday-zen as well….

Good shit, huh?  I thought so.

ANYWAYS, regardless of whether it was that lil’ piece of writing above, the surplus of healthy fats that I’ve been consuming thanks to the Keto diet, or the number on the scale that’s been giving me these Sunday vibes, I wanted to share it.  Who knows, maybe my Mom is visiting me in spirit tonight and lifting some of that unbearable weight off of my heart, who knows?

Whatever it is though, I am grateful.   Because after a year filled with a seemingly never-ending string of seriously depressing moments (more on that at a later date), I’m learning that I really need to relish in the moments that feel…zen.

Happy Sunday.

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